Okay, okay, I'm better now....

Maybe that's because I actually lost over a pound, so I owe no money. Yay! And Heather and Sunshine assure me that it's not a good idea to weigh myself twice a day every day. So, I have promised (scout's honor -- damn my scout training!) not to look at the scale until next Friday. I think the only way to accomplish this is to break it (but then it won't work next Friday) or to have Hubby hide it. I might do that.

Am I the only one who found Project Runway to be anti-climactic? I watched the ending with a what-was-the-point-of-the-episode-then feeling. I'm excited to see what they come up with, and I always love the reunion show which is next week. I can't wait to see the final collections. I guess that explains why you can see fashion week stuff from all of them on www.bravotv.com/projectrunway. I just assumed (before this episode that is) that they had all 4 of them do a collection and then only judged the 3 finalists so that no one would know ahead of time who the final 3 were.

And I'm so glad it's Friday. I don't have any weekend plans this week, so I can get caught up on all the laundry and cleaning that needs to be done at my house.

Blah

That's how I feel today. And how I've felt for a few days now. I'm in a funk, and I hope I snap out of it soon.

Maybe it was the weekend and all the events of it. It's still so sad to see my grandfather without my grandmother. He's doing okay, but still...... It was very nice to see my little brother. He's doing very well in Seattle and seems to be very happy, so I'm happy for him. He's in his second year of law school, so he'll be there at least another 2 years or so.

Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep. I'm so tired. The girls don't sleep very well, so I don't either. Fortunately, they both slept well last night and were both asleep when I left this morning. It's hard to be away from them all day long, but I know that it's worth it and it's necessary. Otherwise, I would be worried about paying the bills. It's the first time in a long time that's not as much of a worry for me (it's still there, believe me, but it's not my #1 worry).

Maybe I'm not getting enough time to myself. And, for that, I only have myself to blame. There's just not enough hours in the day.

Maybe it's because I feel so out of shape. I want to drop a lot of weight, and I feel like I'm only gaining (but I am weighing myself at the end of the day after dinner -- not a smart idea). But more importantly, I want to feel energized and in shape. However, the only time when that would work would be first thing in the morning. And it's far too easy to hit snooze especially when I was up late.

Maybe it's just the fact that my period is ending (thank goodness), and I have always been depressed for about 3 or 4 days afterward. I wonder if it's a hormonal drop or rise. Hmm.....I don't know. But that means the funk should be over soon.

I hope so.....

Why, oh why?!

Why will my baby not sleep through the night anymore, and why won't my big girl stay in her bed all night? I just want a good night's sleep. Is that too much to ask?

I am asking for advice. Lay it on me. There has to be a solution!

After one week.....

I've lost a little over a pound. Yay! If you are interested in signing up, they are taking late registration. It's wonderful to have other people to encourage you and who understand. And winning a little money wouldn't hurt, right? Check it out -- Deep End of the Pool.

The weekend went okay. Nothing I'm ready to blog about. Maybe tomorrow. I'm really tired today.

S-H-I-T

A woman I used to work with a long time ago used to tell this joke:

A woman gets onto an elevator and there is another man in the elevator already. As they're going up, she says, "T-G-I-F!"

He replies, "S-H-I-T!"

As she's getting off the elevator, she says, "I don't know what you think I said, but I only said, Thank Goodness It's Friday."

"And all I said was, 'Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday!'"

I honestly thought it was a very stupid joke -- especially after I'd heard it over and over again. But, then there are those Thursdays when I remember it. This is one of those days. I'm so tired. My parents are coming in tonight, so while I'm looking forward to seeing them, it also means that I have to start cleaning my house as soon as I get home. It's not too bad, just not parent-ready.

I'm moping.....

because Project Runway is not a new episode tonight. How dare they do that to their devoted fans?! How. Dare. They.

But, I'm not moping because I did very well yesterday (despite the oreos). My entire consumption consisted of two Lean Pockets at 8:00 and 10:00, a Lean Cuisine lunch (very yummy, but not nearly enough food portion controlled), the oreos and juice, and then what Hubby made for dinner. Nice attempt at sabotage that was. Fried chicken strips, mashed potatoes, potato skins, and apple flautas for dessert. Fortunately for me, I envoked the portion control rule and only at about half of what I would normally eat. So, I was being good. And I had a popcicle before I went to bed, but it was sugar free and 15 calories, so I'm not worried. Now, if I can keep this up, I'll be doing good.

I do need to work really, really hard on drinking more water. I'm not getting nearly enough to drink. So, that's my goal for the rest of the week. More water. Lots more water.

Oh, and Hubby and I pre-ordered TMX Elmo for Baby Boo for Christmas/Birthday. We were a little leary considering we ordered it sight unseen. Hubby's picking it up today. I'm thinking of selling it on ebay. Baby Boo will never know the difference, and we can get her one in the spring. Who'd have thought that Tickle Me Elmo would be the toy to have this Christmas (<--she says with a merry twinkle in her eye)?

Does it count?

So, if I eat two oreo cookies and drink a juice becuase I just gave blood, do you think that counts against me? Surely giving blood appeases the weight loss gods somewhat and those stupid cookies and juice won't settle onto my hips. Right?

Other than that, I've been good today, so that has to make it better. LOL

Holy Cow! What happened to my baby?

Miss Priss seems to have grown up overnight -- she's using lots of big words, and words like "skeins" (it's a measure of yarn, and I'm not sure I spelled it right). She also builds houses. Hubby had a great idea to get her blocks for her birthday. The thing is, she builds them with the triangles at the top for the roof, but she also puts another little brick up there. I asked her what it was, and she looked at me funny (as if to say, "Duh, mom!") and said, "That's the chimney." Oh. Yeah. Right. Duh, mom.

And poor little Baby Boo fell down and went bonk. Mr. Eye, meet Mr. Table. Yeah, so now she has this thin line of a bruise from the corner of her eye toward the temple. Cute. Just how I want the rest of my family to see her this weekend. I hope she's a quick healer.

And, I decided to be brutally honest with myself as far as the weight loss and take some pictures. I don't want to look at them, but I keep assuring myself when I'm thin and gorgeous that I'll want to see how far I've come. I hope I'm right. And I took measurements. Ew. And as of Sunday night, I was174.0 lbs. I'd like to see some major weight loss.

Hubby watched the girls last night while I went to the workout center at our apartment complex. I spent 30 minutes on the recumbant bike doing the "weight loss course." I want to see some results. My goal is to go to the workout center at least 4 times a week (hey, I'm trying to be realistic). My other goal this week is to drink more water. Lots and lots of water. I've also added breakfast to my diet. Let's hope all of this works.

Eeek! I'm already falling off the wagon.....

I had a big lunch. I better nip this in the bud because I don't want to have to pay this week. I have to lose weight this first week. I feel the need to exercise tonight. But then I won't sleep. Maybe tomorrow morning.

Must.lose.weight......

Anyway, I had a fun day yesterday cleaning out our deep freeze. Yeah, it must not have sealed well because we lost about half the stuff in the freezer. And, of course, that would be the expensive half -- the chicken and beef. Some of it was still pretty frozen, but we decided not to take the chance. If it was just Hubby and I, I think we would almost have risked it and known to cook it thoroughly, but with the girls, we weren't taking any chances. Here's hoping this week gets better.......

Okay, my Project Runway friends.....

who expected those special guests last night? Interesting idea.....but sadly for Angela and Vincent, they failed to win.

So, let's do a recap, shall we? We have left:

Michael
Loved his dress last night. Wouldn't look good on me (pasty girl in white -- not pretty), but he seems to be able to design well. He thinks of things that always seem to look good (except for last week's rabbit ears dress). If I had to choose a designer that I was rooting for, it would be Michael.

Laura
I really liked her dress. And it looks like something I would actually wear. I really feel for her since she's pregnant. That's got to be exhausting on so many levels. Physically, I remember that I could barely make it to 10:00 at night when I was pregnant with Baby Boo (that or I couldn't sleep), and their competitions always end at midnight. Emotionally, you can tell she's really struggling. She seems like such a strong woman, but pregnancy hormones are hell. I hope she sticks around to the final 3.

Uli
She's the other one I would want in my top three. Her clothes alway seem fun and flirty and flowing. Lots of Fs there. I'd like to see what a large collection of hers looks like.

Jeffery
We can never forget Jeffery. If I was a stylish person, I probably would have liked his. Aren't tights making a comeback along with the skinny pants (ewwwww.......shudder!). I have a feeling they'll put him in the final three because they always have one that's a little off the wall.


And the eliminated:

Ah, Kayne. What can you say? I really liked the look of his dress from the front. But, when she turned around -- ack! I did not like the back at all. Sad to see him go, but that dress was not working for me.

And Vincent and Angela showed just why they were voted off the first time.

Deep End of the Pool

Heather (Was That My Outloud Voice) and Sunshine (...And The Pursuit of Happiness) have set up a new blog called Deep End of the Pool, to help those of us who want to lose weight. This is not your ordinary weight loss blog. It's a competition. And nothing encourages me more than competition. Basically, it works like this -- you weigh in every Friday, and post your weight. If you lose weight, you owe nothing. If you maintain or gain weight, you owe $5. It's free to sign up, so you never owe any money unless you maintain or gain weight. But, you can win a prize. There will be two prizes given -- one for the person who loses the most weight, and one for the person who loses the biggest percentage. Several people have already signed up, and the more the merrier. So, if you're looking to lose weight and need a little extra push, here it is. :) Plus, if you have a blog, they'll link to your blog, so you can find other blogs as well if you're looking for new reading material. You have to sign up by Sunday, so check it out.

Who in the world.....

is the man living in my house? Because that is definitely not my husband. This guy cooks, does laundry, and picks up the house. And even mentioned something about helping me find time to exercise in the evenings while he watches the girls. Don't get me wrong. I'll keep him. I'm just curious where my husband went.

We're going next weekend to spread my grandmother's ashes. We're going to East Texas where she grew up. Well, actually, I think the actual place where were spreading her ashes is in Louisiana, but we're staying with family in East Texas. My grandmother's father died when she was 6 months old, so her mother took her and her siblings to live with her grandparents. They had a house on a plot of land that keeps getting divided up as people die. My grandmother used to call it "God's Little Acre." So, she's going to live forever where she grew up. It seems only fitting.

I love my family and getting together with them; I only wish it was a happier occasion. Some of them haven't even see Baby Boo, so she better behave. Sadly, I don't think I have any pictures of my grandmother with Baby Boo. I have a few of her with Miss Priss, but none with Baby Boo. And my brother hasn't seen Baby Boo since she was only a couple weeks old. I don't think he'll even recognize her.

Chivalry is Not Dead!

I ride the bus to work every day. I take one bus for most of the trip, but then I have to switch buses to get to my building. I'm only on the 2nd bus for about 5 minutes (unless traffic is really heavy), so it's not too bad. Most days I get on (I say most like I've been doing this for years), and it's standing room only. Well, for the past 3 or 4 days, I haven't had to stand. There are gentlemen on the bus who will stand up and let me sit (and others too, so it's not just my good looks that are getting me a seat -- please not the heavy dose of sarcasm). I have to say that, in a world where people rarely hold doors anymore, it really makes my day when someone is willing to be so selfless.

In regards to the 5th anniversary of 9/11, I can only say that I am still saddened and speechless over what happened. Even 5 years later. Truly a day that no one will ever forget.

I'm so proud of myself....

I didn't check to see if I'd lost any weight this morning. Of course, I was half asleep since I got up just in time to make sure I made it to work on time. However, going a whole month is going to be hard. I hope I can do it.

I have no weekend plans except to clean out the closets that have needed it ever since we piled boxes in them when we moved in. I will be organized by Monday. I will. I certainly will. Hopefully.

Hope everyone has a great weekend! :)

Well....

now that I'm starting to settle into my work routine, it's time to refocus on my weight loss routine. I've decided I'm only weighing in once a month. That way there's a dramatic change (there better be, at least!). Fortunately, in the two months where I wasn't really trying to lose weight, I didn't gain it all back. For the most part, I hovered in the lower 170s. To me, that is very encouraging -- once I do lose all the weight I'm hoping to lose, at least I'll be able to maintain pretty well.

Now that I'm working all day, snacking isn't an easy option to cure boredom, so that should help as well. I also get a little exercise at work even if it's just going between buildings. So, I've got high hopes. My only thing I have to watch out for is the fact that I'm no longer breastfeeding, so I'm not losing those calories.

I am so proud of myself for making it 8 months breastfeeding Baby Boo. I was hoping to make it longer than Miss Priss (3 months). I did. And then some.

And since I'm so environmentally friendly, I'm riding the bus to work. Well, that's not all true. Yes, I'm not polluting with my car, but the real reason is that I hate driving in rush hour traffic (it scares me to death), and my commute is long (a little over an hour), so it works out best for me to relax and read a book on the bus.

Funny how I've become more environmentally friendly recently. I'm also recycling.

Hope everyone has a great day! :)