Monday, June 25, 2007

This is my 300th Post

At least that's what Blogger says. LOL

I have to tell you about my successful shopping trip yesterday. I had $225 from my birthday, and Hubby said that I had to spend it all on myself since I never spend any money on myself (or so he says).

So, for my $225, I got:
7 shirts (wearable for work)
1 pair of slacks
1 pair of jeans
1 skirt
1 black dress (once I tried it on, I had to have it)
a purse
and 4 pairs of shoes.

I was pretty proud of myself. And my recent 9 pound weight loss (of which I've gained back 3 pounds or so -- grrrr) meant that I actually fit pretty well in a lot of them. It was the first time in a long time that I liked trying on clothes rather than just going -- well, it fits well enough. Maybe I should have gone swimsuit shopping. LOL But, I think that would have been pushing my luck.

I saw my doctor this morning, and after a discussion of anti-depressants as well as my symptoms (classic depression symptoms), she put me on Effexor. I hope it works well for me. She gave me some samples, and I go back to see her in a month to see how I'm doing.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Dr. Appointment

I'm going to see my doctor tomorrow. It's time. I need anti-depressants again. I was hoping never to revisit this fun little section of my personality, but alas, it was not meant to be. Last weekend seemed so weird. I didn't want to do anything. I just wanted to sit. And this week, when Hubby and I were talking on my birthday, I told him how I was feeling and that I thought I was getting to the point of being depressed again, and he told me that he was concerned about me and thought I should go see my doctor. I wonder how long he's thought that. So, anyway, I have an appointment tomorrow morning. I assume it will go well. I have a wonderful history with depression, so we can go over the physical symptoms or she can take my word for it. Either way, I feel pretty sure I'm leaving with anti-depressants.

So, the I don't want to do anything feeling is probably why I've been such a bad blogger over the past couple of months.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

27 Years Old Today

So young, yet keeps reminding me that my 10 year reunion is next year. No shit?! They think I can’t count? I did learn something in those years I spent in school.

I’m really torn on this reunion thing, and I don’t need a reminder over a year in advance. On the one hand, I want to go. I want to see the people I went to high school with, see how they turned out. Who has kids, who’s gotten married, who’s gotten divorced, who lives where, etc. Wanna hear my reason for not going? This is good. I don’t have a degree. I graduated valedictorian in my class, and in 10 years I haven’t gotten a degree. And somehow, I can’t face everyone I knew because of that one thing.

My rational mind knows this is a ridiculous reason – I’m married to a wonderful man (who I would have to beg to go LOL), I have two beautiful children, a good job, bills paid, everything I could want for this point in my life except for the degree (and owning my own home, but I figure I’ve still got plenty of time for that – I bet most people at the reunion don’t own their homes – maybe by the 20 year reunion).

Okay, maybe it’s more complicated than that. It’s the judgement from the people I went to high school with. I should probably point out that I graduated in a class of 45 people in a small, conservative town where everyone’s parents knew everyone else’s parents (except mine, of course). I never felt excluded so much as I never felt included. And part of that was on purpose. There was no one there I was dying to be friends with. I’ll be brutally honest here. I wasn’t close to anyone. I didn’t date, I was shy, I was nerdy, and I was okay with that persona. I guess that’s why I have reservations about the reunion. Without a degree, I’m not the shy, nerdy high school person. I’m just me. And I’m not sure anyone has ever seen who “just Alison” is, and I’m not sure I want them to. Ah, self discovery through blogging. I’ve never actually thought about it in these terms.

And, there is an evil part of me. The part that wants to see some of the popular, pretty girls from high school after they’ve aged 10 years. Am I horrible or what?! Don’t answer that – I’ve got myself mostly convinced that’s why most people go to reunions! For all that I would like to lose 20 more pounds, I still look pretty damn good (if I do say so myself) for someone my age with two kids, or hey, I don’t look bad in general. LOL I saw one of those popular people a couple of years ago. I almost didn’t recognize her. I swear she looked 10 years older than me (and I don’t think I look that young). So, the only part of me that wants to go is the curious and very mean part of me.

Fortunately, I have another year to decide. And if I lose those 20 pounds and once again fit into the little black dress I wore in college (not sure if it would even fit over my hips anymore no matter how much weight I lose LOL), maybe I’ll consider it. If nothing else, just to prove I’m not afraid of them anymore, and I don’t care what they think. And if I could truly make myself believe that, I would have no qualms about going.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Musings From a Bus Rider.....

I have now been taking the bus to work everyday for 10 months. I have never driven to work since I started my job last August. In that time, I have learned a lot of things (much more than you think you would learn simply by riding the bus LOL).

1. There is still some chivalry left in this world. There are men (from all social and economic classes, from all races, from all walks of life) who still will not sit on the bus if there is a woman (of any age) standing. Kind of renews my faith in humanity.

2. There are still a lot of a$$holes as well. I noticed the other day that some chick had a bunch of shopping bags taking up an entire seat, and she wouldn't move them for a woman who definitely needed to sit down. She looked like she was about to pass out, and I gave her my seat. She obviously needed it worse than I did.

3. If you have to have a phone conversation on a cell phone, the bus is not the place for it. We don't all want to hear your opinions on your best friend's new house and whether or not he got ripped off. And while you obviously can't hear very well over the bus noise, that's no reason to talk louder. If all the other bus passengers are giving you dirty looks, that should be a sign to call them back later.

4. I take 2 buses. One is an express bus from my suburb to downtown. The other is from downtown to my job (and ouf course the reverse in the evening). It's amazing the difference in the passengers.

5. I have saved a TON of money by taking the bus. I only fill up my car once a month (which is getting more and more expensive), and my bus pass is less than $3 per month.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

My Shy Girl....

is starting to come out of her shell a little. This is requiring a lot more of me than I expected. I have to smile and make polite conversation as well to show her that is what is "expected." I'm trying to show her by example, but this forces me to push my own comfort levels. However, seeing her playing with other children at the playground (including a trip to Burger King that was extended to over an hour because she and another little girl were having such a good time). She seems more relaxed and will introduce herself and be friendly. She even has begun shaking hands with adults at church during the times when people are supposed to. So, progress is being made. She is very proud of herself and is always excited to tell me about it. I hope she has some great kids in her pre-school class this fall.

Thursday, June 07, 2007


I'm still around (and I even avoided being sick -- knock on wood). I've just been very busy at work (and I say that with a smile on my face because I like to be busy -- it makes the day go so much faster). So, now the girls are in bed, and I'm going to catch up on my blog reading. And tomorrow I'm going to post about Miss Priss's progress as far as her social anxiety. I hope everyone has a great night. :)

Friday, June 01, 2007


Both girls are sick. And it looks as if they intend to be that way all weekend (although I hope against hope that I'm wrong). They've got some sort of throat thing going on where they're both coughing and dealing with runny noses, etc. Neither is running a fever, thank goodness, so I doubt it is strep throat or ear infections or anything. It's funny, for the most part, my girls are very healthy and rarely get sick, so when they do, (and I hope this doesn't make me a bad mommy) a part of me loves to just lie around with them and cuddle (which they never do when they're well) and watch movies and just take care of them bringing the juice or whatever they want.

So, everyone keep your fingers crossed that the sickness passes quickly and that Mommy doesn't get it!