Here's the situation:
Miss Priss goes to bed at 8:00 (or as close to that as I can manage). We start the bedtime routine at about 7:30. We watch an episode of her choosing, she goes to the bathroom, gives hugs and kisses, and goes to bed. She usually does pretty well with that.
Baby Boo on the other hand. Well, we start at 7:30 as well. I give her a bottle and rock her while Miss Priss's show is on. And I rock and rock and rock. She will eventually pass out somewhere between 8:15 and 8:45. (And just FYI, I've tried starting later thinking she's not tired enough, but it just delays when she goes to sleep, i.e. -- starting at 8:00 or 8:05 means she doesn't go to sleep until 8:45 or later).
Recently, she has started being even more difficult. She will start with these little screaming fits. I think these are usually gas or teething or both, so gas drops and teething gel usually seem to help. Then she feels the need to rub her hand against the wall while she's rocking. I've tried changing her position, but she always rolls back to where she can feel the wall. She usually leaves a little bit in her bottle, so she's not hungry, so I don't know what the deal is.
So, when she finally goes to sleep, I put her in her crib. This is very hit or miss. She can be very good and asleep and the second she hits the bed, she's up on all fours crying as loud as she can (which is only a precursor to the screaming that follows if I don't pick her up fast enough). Patting or rubbing or trying to get her to stay in the crib are met with screaming. She just wants out. It usually takes 2 tries before she's down for the night.
Except that's it. She's never down for the night. She's usually in her crib by 9:00. But, about 10:00 to 10:30, she wakes up. I have no idea why, but it seems to coincide really well with when I'm almost asleep (not sure why that is). Again, patting and rubbing do no good. She wants out of the crib. I would do a modified cry it out where I stayed with her and patted her and rubbed her and left her in the crib, but Miss Priss and Baby Boo share a room. Miss Priss definitely needs her beauty sleep, so I'm stuck. I usually bring Baby Boo into bed with me, but then I don't sleep good. She's a very restless sleeper -- always changing positions wanting to move from side to side and front to back. And it never fails that Miss Priss wanders in around 2:00am, too. Our queen bed has a hard time handling all 4 of us comfortably.
So, now I'm not sure what to do. But, I do know I need some sleep. Hubby seems to remember Miss Priss going through this stage, and after it was over, we could put her down to sleep at night while she was still awake, and we wouldn't hear from her until the next morning. I hope he's right and that the next stage is coming soon. I don't know how much longer I can keep this stage up.
But, in good news, I drank over 100 oz of water yesterday and not only took the long way into the building, but also took the stairs to my office (on the 9th floor). I could barely walk by the time I got here. LOL
7 comments:
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO proud of you on your water, I am better than before the Pool but still need work.
I used the ten-minute rule with my kids and the waking up crying thing. Gave them ten-minutes to cry it out. If they didn't stop in that time, I went in and figured out what their problem was. Seemed to work eventually when they realize you aren't going to get them out of the crib for every little thing. Sharing the room makes it tough, maybe your toddler will eventually get used to it for a little bit until the baby finally goes down for the night and stays there.
GOOD LUCK!
PS) LOVING the fitday.com site you recommended!
Hang in there...the next 'phase' is right around the corner. AND kudos on the water and the stairs...way to goooooo...especially with so little sleep.
How old is she?? I'm not really sure what i can suggest that would help, but with my 18 mos old.. she gets put in her crib awake and we make sure she's fed, clean diaper and dressed appropriately for the weather. So that when she cries, we know it's just because she's ticked off at being in bed. This was just for the first couple nights though.. anyway, you basically just let them cry it out. Crying it out is obviously a personal choice and no biggie if you choose not to do it. I'm just telling you what worked for us. The first night, she cried for about an hour. I literally had to put ear phones on. Since we had the monitor, we knew she was just laying there crying because there was no sound of the mattress squeaking. The second night she cried for another hour before falling asleep. The third and fourth night she fussed loudly, and cried..but feel asleep after about 15-20 mins. After that, she knew it wasn't going to solve anything to cry. The big question is this: does she still need to eat in the middle of the night? With my daughter..I can already see the manipulation running rampant. And i know that if I were to go to her once if she cried, that she would learn that. So.. eventually she stopped trying. but on the other hand..she's been sleeping through the night since about 10-12 weeks (and no, this was not the results of a CIO..it was PURE LUCK)but we did still have to establish a bedtime, which is where we used the Cry it out method.. Now, she only wakes up at night when she's sick (and if she wakes up I go to her right away because I would know that means she is sick). Sorry for the long post.. hope you can work this ou t! Good luck!
Oh yeah..congrats on the weight loss low!! That is so tough! Especially in these "post-baby" years!
Unfortunately I don't have any helpful suggestions but I do sympathize with you! I hope things get better really soon. I am staring down the barrel of a lot less sleep than I've become accustomed to, as my due date nears, so I'll probably be emailing you at some point this summer asking you how you got through it with two! Hang in there, I know it will get better!
Elise
Ferbers sleep book.
I let my first child dictate his sleeping habits and apparently I was not reading them right. Crying and being inconsolable was a sign he was over tired (not under!) and with time cut the naps and went for earlier bedtimes.
With the twins, bedtimes were firmly held and if they cried (maybe a minute?) they learned to sleep on their own.
The best thing you can do for everyone is to say "Hey, this is bedtime!" Child gets sleep and parent gets some Down Time and sleep too.
We actually just had a lecture on this in pediatrics theory.
Interventions for the non-sleeping or often waking child." Suggestions for the parent who is having a hard time getting their child to sleep:
The 3 R's.
1st=Routine (make a routine for bedtime..i.e...dinner, then bath time, then quite time... at the same time each night. (relaxing-which is the second R) Pretty quickly your child will begin to understand that after these rituals are complete that it's sleep time and she will take it for granted....(baby speaking lol) "Oooh, I've filled my tummy, had my warm bath and now mommy is rocking me...it must be time to go to sleep."
2nd=Relaxing for 15-20 minutes (prior to putting baby in crib) with mom or dad but this must be quiet time, no outside noise which is stimulating (such as TV or music or chatter from other family members.) A good thing to do during this time is Rocking (which is #3) and talking quietly or singing softly, reading a book if they are old enough to sit through it, whether they understand it or not...as long as they are quietly engaged and will sit through it, or listening to lullabies quietly on a tape recorder. Soft music, reading or talking.
3rd=Rocking (as already stated) this calms a young child because it reminds them of being in the womb which was a quiet and peaceful time (where they slept ALOT) :o)
4th= (optional) Cry it out, usually only done beyond the age of 3 months. Like someone else said..children are very smart and it doesn't take them long to make the connection between crying and mom coming in...so they tend to try it over and over just to see if it works (and it usually does) so they continue to do it.
As long as she is not hungry and not wet, there is no reason for her to cry unless she is testing out the crying=mommy comes scenario.
It's also suggested that baby have her own room (or livingroom...den..whatever) maybe sissy tossing and turning is waking her.
Hey!! You asked for advice and you know I'm a new nursing student so any chance to pass on what I learned....and I'm gonna do it. LOL
Good luck! Sorry for such a long post.
Dawn
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