Please. I'm okay. The baby's okay. I just feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown and I just don't know how much longer I can go on before I snap.
Living in two homes is killing me financially. The numbers never seem to add up to anything but negative.
I try to see the positive. I've been blessed with so many things. I have a wonderful husband, a great 2 year old who's healthy and I'm having another baby. I have a wonderful family.
I don't want a million dollars. I just want enough to make it through the week without crying. Without wondering if daycare or the electric bill is more important. Without praying that the bank only charges me the $20 fee for bouncing the check rather than returning it.
I keep telling myself that it will be better soon. And it will. Once the baby is born, we will move. Probably in January. We won't be paying daycare for a couple of months. We'll only have one rent payment and one utility payment.
It does appear that daycare is cheaper where we are moving to. Like 2 kids will only cost us about $30 - $40 more per week than we are paying now for 1. Therefore, when we move, I'm going to find a job. My husband and I have sort of discussed it. He's pretty much leaving it up to me. We could probably get by on what he makes with the cost of living being so low and not having to pay for daycare.
I've searched out similar jobs to my current job in the area. I could make about what I'm making now. There would be an hour-long commute each way every day, but I could do that. I could have health benefits for my family (one worry gone). We wouldn't be scraping by quite so much. We might actually have money left over at the end of the month. The load off my mind from that alone would be incredible.
I know it will get better. I'm just having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel today.
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3 comments:
OH Girl, How well I know that feeling. For me this week it's do I pay for kindergarten tuition, or try to make part of the house payment. There is a light at the end of the tunnel...it WILL get better...prayers ARE answered. It just takes time. Chin up friend. :)
Gee Girl, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It's so hard to keep a positive outlook when you have so much weighing on your mind. I've SO been there too. Keep reminding yourself of the wonderful thngs in your life (even though even that can be hard at times like these).
I had to tell myself that worrying and fretting would not o anything to change my circunstances other than to make them harder on me emotionally. If you can't pay something, you just can't pay it and worrying won't get it paid. I hop I'm not coming across as lecturing , I certainly don't mean too.
I guess I missed why you are having to pay 2 rents right now. There's no way I could pull that off.
Buck up Buttercup and know that we truly care about you. I'll say a prayer your family.
Much love, Dawn
I'm so sorry you're feeling overwhelmed. It sounds like you have a good plan for the future, but right now its hard, I know. Hugs from cyber space!!! Take heart in the good things you know to be true.
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