for my divorce. It's actually easier than I thought (or else I'm doing it wrong). There's a lot that we need to sort out still, but we had a nice long conversation yesterday morning regarding some of the arrangements.
He's been talking to some of his divorced friends because he's suddenly concerned about the financial arrangements. He's afraid that I'm going to take him to the cleaners when it's his mother who's watching the girls and providing all the childcare. Does he honestly think I haven't thought of that? I realize that, but it doesn't mean he doesn't have to provide any support at all for his kids. He suggested $300/month. Which I'm inclined to agree to in some respects (especially considering the child care thing), but that is supposed to pay all of their insurance costs as well. Uh, no. I'm thinking $300 plus the insurance premiums and any medical/dental bills. Which would actually make it $450 or so per month. He would like it if I don't consider his second job income since he doesn't know how long he'll have that. He told me that he's not going to "put himself in a financial hardship" and that I make more money than he does. So, therefore, I have no right to savings? I have money enough to pay my bills (as long as childcare is covered), but I would like to put money away for a house and a new car and for the girls to eventually go to college (not that I'm paying for all of it, but I'd like to help some). I know he's pretty incapable of saving money, so that's going to be up to me. I want to have the life I want rather than getting by as I have been. I agree that he doesn't have to finance my life, but still - they are his children, and he should support them some. As it is, he provides no support - his mother does, but that's her choice. I can't even really talk to his parents about everything because when I asked him how much his parents knew (so that I can don't reveal things he doesn't want them to know), he told me that when everything started, he told them that it's his life and his business. Oh, great. Way to stay on their good side.
And the car. We bought the truck (which I should never have agreed to) in October. We've made 4 payments, so only 68 more to go. He's going to be paying those, but if I can arrange it, he's going to have to refinance it into his name only. I want no liability for it - I'm not going to carry insurance on it (well, I'm still debating that - once it's out of my name, I certainly won't, but until then, I might just to cover my ass in case it gets wrecked - the finance company would want money, if he's at fault, other people might want money - I'd rather an insurance company be responsible for that). So, anyway, when he got the truck, I got the Hyundai which we got in 2004. His parents bought it for us and we signed an agreement that we would pay them back. Which we haven't so far. We actually haven't paid them anything. When we were considering buying the truck and I was hesitant, he told me that if things didn't work out between us, he would take the truck (and refinance it) and I would get the Hyundai and he would assume all debt for it.
So, now the negotiation begins. Now I'm getting to have all the fun of trying to figure this all out and hope he agrees -which means just like any bargaining thing, I'll have to start out higher than I really want or have tradeoffs that I'm willing to take. So there we are. I guess we'll see where it goes from here.
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