Meeting With The Director

My husband and I met with the director this morning. The attitude was a little different, so we were all pretty relaxed. She showed us a few of the reports of my daughter's biting. Apparently, the problem is two things. Number one: She only bites other kids to get what she wants. It almost always revolves around a toy. Number two: Apparently, she keeps going after the same kid. That is because she and this other little boy play together a lot. When she gets tired of playing together, she decides the toy is hers for the taking. And it all goes downhill from there.

We did end up bringing in the main teacher in the class to talk with her. In trying to pinpoint where the problem lies, we looked at when she has the most trouble. Daycare looks at time of day. My husband and I were looking at days of the week. She bites overwhelmingly on Wednesdays and Thursdays -- the days my husband leaves to go to work. So, missing daddy seems to be part of the problem. My husband also pointed out that with the new baby on the way, she's become pretty possessive of things that she thinks are hers (very observant of him - I haven't noticed that). We've gotten a few gifts that are for "the baby," so she has started hoarding her toys and points out that they are her toys. She might be doing the same thing at school. She doesn't bite randomly. She bites to get the toy she wants or thinks is hers.

So, the plan for now is:
1. Nicole (her teacher) is going to write notes on the back of her daily sheet and try to keep me in the loop as far as what she is doing and if she is having any problems. I, in turn, will make sure she knows the days that my husband goes back to work, so that her teachers know she might need a little extra TLC.

2. The teachers are going to keep a close eye on her (especially during their group playtime) and try to keep her close to them in order to stop it before it starts.

3. Nicole is going to try and spend a little extra one-on-one time with her. With the new baby on the way, she probably gets a lot of attention about being a "big sister." I will also try to make sure I spend some time with her one-on-one, and my husband and I will develop some sort of plan before he leaves for work to reassure her that daddy will be back on Saturday. He's also going to try and spend some extra one-on-one daddy time with her.

4. If she does bite someone, she goes to timeout (like she has been). She has to look at the bite and apologize to the person she bit. Then they talk about sharing and not hurting their friends.

5. They recently had a teacher just up and leave with no notice, so now that they've replaced her, the teachers are working on getting back onto a more structured schedule. My daughter thrives on routine, so I think this will help as well.

I felt the meeting went well. Both the director and Nicole assured us that she's not a bully by any means. She is a "sweet little girl (their words, not mine although I agree)." I guess we'll see how it goes.